kaia

The new year has snuck up on me. I was in transit for Christmas, so it was just another day for me. Now, tomorrow is New Year's Eve. I'll be in Luang Prabang, Laos. I debated Vang Vieng with the group I had met here, but staying here feels right.

2013 was the biggest year of my life, thinking about it.

I graduated college, and kicked Chemistry right in the face for the final time.

I forgave myself and can finally say that without any bitterness, I have let go of something long overdue. I don't need his forgiveness, because I know without a doubt I am better for having walked away years ago.

I quit my job of over 4 years, and almost without any tears. I left with no regrets, and everything ahead. I can see that "ghost life" in my head of if I had stayed, and I could have never of been truly happy in it. I could have taken that manager position, and I could have said yes to more late nights of drinking. I could have entered the corporate world, but I didn't do any of it. I walked away.

I got on that plane I've dreamed of for so many years. Alone and without any plan at all, I landed in Bangkok. Panic didn't hit me, and neither did fear. Even when the plane took off, I wasn't afraid. My only thought was "I made it." I haven't even been on the road a month, but it is exactly what I wanted. I meet people every day, even just walking to the market. And the no plan thing? It has worked so well.

I started to trust myself, and trust my gut. If something tells me no, I listen.

I learned happiness comes in much simpler ways than I ever thought; just enjoying a cup of coffee while catching up with a friend, or enjoying a night at home playing video games with close friends, or smiling at a stranger walking next to you and a conversation starting. I don't need the drama, I need the moments that make me feel alive.

I realized just how much I need a certain friend of mine. From believing in me even when I don't, to not walking away in my darkest and drunkest moments, to staying up until 4am local time just to keep talking to me, he is the best friend I have. When we met, I wrote about how he would be someone important to me, and years later he is.

I don't know what exactly 2014 will bring. I don't even know what tomorrow will bring, but I will visit 4 more new countries, maybe even more. Travel will always be a part of my life. I don't know what'll happen when I get back to the US, or what I'm going to do with my life. Right now, I'm happy living in the present and not worrying about what comes next. It will come, regardless of worry.

This is already long, so I'll stop and talk about the things I do want out of 2014. This is early, but Happy New Year!