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Dear slew of pissy and/or wronged customers Sundays seem to bring,
Contrary to what you might believe, scratches don't JUST appear on a lenses. I know that's hard for you to understand, but we're actually the ones that put those scratches there! It has absolutely nothing to do with cleaning them with shit like paper towel or your shirt. That couldn't possibly be why they're scratched, nope, we gave you defective lenses. After all, being the wonderful person you are, you couldn't possibly be the one scratching your lenses.
It's also our fault the lenses just pop out. We make our glasses to do that, didn't you know? We like seeing your smiling faces SO much that we purposely don't tighten the screws enough to hold them in, just so you'll come back to see us!
It's a lie when we say we don't have your prescription in stock, we do actually have it. We are just too lazy to cut it that day, so instead we pretend to send away for it just so we can put it off for another week.
Hairspray also doesn't start to eat away at coatings put on the lenses. No, that's all our doing. It's specially made to do that, just so you'll come back in a few months to get another pair. That warning we give you when you purchase the glasses? That's just a load of crap. Keep using that hairspray with your glasses on. It's harmless!
All of us really are greedy bastards just trying to get you to spend more money. Why would anyone ever want anything but basic lenses? We are just trying to scam you when we say that with your prescription you'd be better off getting a different lens, after all, every prescription looks the same in every lens type! They don't gain thickness at all as the prescription goes up, that's just a lie we tell you to get you to spend more.
That yearly exam thing and the written prescription from a doctor? That has nothing to do with what's required by the law, we just want to make sure you come back and spend more money! Of course your eyes haven't changed in five years, but we're sure as hell going to charge you for another exam.
Yes, we're also responsible for all the wrongs of the world. That guy that just lost his job? We bribed his boss to do that. You and your wife are getting a divorce? We actually had to hire someone to pull that off.
-Dusk
P.S. Go to Walmart next time.
I love Sundays.
Contrary to what you might believe, scratches don't JUST appear on a lenses. I know that's hard for you to understand, but we're actually the ones that put those scratches there! It has absolutely nothing to do with cleaning them with shit like paper towel or your shirt. That couldn't possibly be why they're scratched, nope, we gave you defective lenses. After all, being the wonderful person you are, you couldn't possibly be the one scratching your lenses.
It's also our fault the lenses just pop out. We make our glasses to do that, didn't you know? We like seeing your smiling faces SO much that we purposely don't tighten the screws enough to hold them in, just so you'll come back to see us!
It's a lie when we say we don't have your prescription in stock, we do actually have it. We are just too lazy to cut it that day, so instead we pretend to send away for it just so we can put it off for another week.
Hairspray also doesn't start to eat away at coatings put on the lenses. No, that's all our doing. It's specially made to do that, just so you'll come back in a few months to get another pair. That warning we give you when you purchase the glasses? That's just a load of crap. Keep using that hairspray with your glasses on. It's harmless!
All of us really are greedy bastards just trying to get you to spend more money. Why would anyone ever want anything but basic lenses? We are just trying to scam you when we say that with your prescription you'd be better off getting a different lens, after all, every prescription looks the same in every lens type! They don't gain thickness at all as the prescription goes up, that's just a lie we tell you to get you to spend more.
That yearly exam thing and the written prescription from a doctor? That has nothing to do with what's required by the law, we just want to make sure you come back and spend more money! Of course your eyes haven't changed in five years, but we're sure as hell going to charge you for another exam.
Yes, we're also responsible for all the wrongs of the world. That guy that just lost his job? We bribed his boss to do that. You and your wife are getting a divorce? We actually had to hire someone to pull that off.
-Dusk
P.S. Go to Walmart next time.
I love Sundays.
