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You can't live life being second best.
May. 17th, 2014 08:07 pmI really thought coming home would be harder.
And don't get me wrong, there are moments I dream of that freedom that came with no knowing what I was going to end up doing next.
Just, on the road, I would meet so many amazing people. Many I had some type of connection with. "Oh, this person is really awesome. I would totally be friends with them!" or something like that was a common thought. Some, I'll keep in contact with for many years to come. Others, I'll never see again. There were a few men that had me intrigued in more than just a friendly way, but most faded away before I even realized they'd have an impact on me. And that's okay.
One of the girls I work with asked why I didn't stay in contact with the guy I had met in Istanbul, Riley. One understood when I said, "He'll stay amazing in my memory. I had that day and a half with him, and I'll always think back fondly on it. I don't need the awkwardness and drama that comes with more." Why can't I just enjoy the company of someone without needing to make it into more than just two people enjoying conversation and some hookah in one of the most gorgeous cities I've ever been to? And somewhere deep down, I whole heartedly believe that if something is truly met to be, I'll run into him again. And if I don't, I have those memories. And I'm okay with either. Life seems to have this funny way of working out just like it's supposed to
Being home though, I can have those connections with people and not have to say goodbye anytime soon. I really like the supervisor at the location I work now, and she is the sister of one of my favorite managers from when I first started that job 4+ years ago. I had no idea. But we can have those conversations about life and how fucked up the corporate world is, and I know she'll be there the next time I work. Finding out she is the sister of someone I have missed dearly made me feel like I was exactly where I'm supposed to be at this point in my life.
The doctor I was so fond of and so afraid of saying goodbye to, he works there at least once a week. Being there the entire day with him on Thursday and just falling back into our old banter was one of the best feelings I've had since coming home. I took for granted how nice having people that just KNOW you is. Having someone that knows how to make you smile, and laugh. I didn't realize how much I had missed that, and him, until those moments.
There is still so much of the world I want to see, but I'm pretty happy where I currently am.
I did not see that coming.
And don't get me wrong, there are moments I dream of that freedom that came with no knowing what I was going to end up doing next.
Just, on the road, I would meet so many amazing people. Many I had some type of connection with. "Oh, this person is really awesome. I would totally be friends with them!" or something like that was a common thought. Some, I'll keep in contact with for many years to come. Others, I'll never see again. There were a few men that had me intrigued in more than just a friendly way, but most faded away before I even realized they'd have an impact on me. And that's okay.
One of the girls I work with asked why I didn't stay in contact with the guy I had met in Istanbul, Riley. One understood when I said, "He'll stay amazing in my memory. I had that day and a half with him, and I'll always think back fondly on it. I don't need the awkwardness and drama that comes with more." Why can't I just enjoy the company of someone without needing to make it into more than just two people enjoying conversation and some hookah in one of the most gorgeous cities I've ever been to? And somewhere deep down, I whole heartedly believe that if something is truly met to be, I'll run into him again. And if I don't, I have those memories. And I'm okay with either. Life seems to have this funny way of working out just like it's supposed to
Being home though, I can have those connections with people and not have to say goodbye anytime soon. I really like the supervisor at the location I work now, and she is the sister of one of my favorite managers from when I first started that job 4+ years ago. I had no idea. But we can have those conversations about life and how fucked up the corporate world is, and I know she'll be there the next time I work. Finding out she is the sister of someone I have missed dearly made me feel like I was exactly where I'm supposed to be at this point in my life.
The doctor I was so fond of and so afraid of saying goodbye to, he works there at least once a week. Being there the entire day with him on Thursday and just falling back into our old banter was one of the best feelings I've had since coming home. I took for granted how nice having people that just KNOW you is. Having someone that knows how to make you smile, and laugh. I didn't realize how much I had missed that, and him, until those moments.
There is still so much of the world I want to see, but I'm pretty happy where I currently am.
I did not see that coming.
