The stars will fade.

[kaia]

I think I just need to get the past few days out, and let them be what they were. I'm not proud, but nor can I change them. This will be long, and perhaps brutally honest.

I also am seriously considering giving up alcohol completely, but that part of the story will come.

It all started on the day I arrived in Kuala Lumpur. It was a rainy Tuesday, and I was rather glad to be back in a big city.

I should have known the moment I was almost bitten by a monkey on a motorcycle in Chinatown not even 2 hours after arriving that this city would not be a place easily forgotten. I do not yet know if that is a good or bad thing.

Without that monkey, I would have never met the English girl who has been at my side for most of this. We'll call her Rebecca. None of this would have happened had I just walked down a different street, or been wandering there even seconds later.

That night we ended up at an Irish pub. The only drinks we paid for were the first two beers, and the rest of the cocktails were on the house.

I'm grateful I have a high tolerance for alcohol, as the drinks just got stronger as the night went on. I am grateful I do know what my limits are, or that night would have ended in a much different way.

There is a thrill in dancing with complete strangers in a city you've just arrived in and in not knowing how to get back to your hostel. I would be lying if I said I didn't like being told I was curvy and sexy by some American men, that there wasn't a part of me that reveled in the attention.

I did not enjoy being kissed by two different men, or that the bartender had to step in when I wanted to leave though. I did not enjoy drunkenly stumbling through the streets alone, because my new friend was too entranced by the local guy she disappeared with.

I saw a girl I never wanted to see again, and she was me.

One of the American men said to me, as we were dancing, "You have to let me lead. Trust me."

"I have a hard time giving up control." I joked. After that night, I hope that will always be true.

The hangover the next day was well deserved, but the story doesn't end with that.

Rebecca messages me the next morning, having not gotten back to her hotel until 5:30am and with her local friend in tow. The details of that night didn't start coming out until today actually.

That night, he invites himself and his friend to join us at the place called the City of Lights. I didn't like it, and our taxi driver could definitely tell. I bit my tongue though, because it isn't really my place to judge. They take us to dinner, and pay. This drives me insane. I hate being paid for, especially when it isn't a date.

Long story short, we end up at a night club. I was very clear that I was not drinking, and she had said she was not either until he handed her free drinks. He tried really hard to get me to have one, but I refused. I left not long after that, and once again found myself walking the city streets after midnight, alone. This time though, I was well aware of my surroundings and despite being told it was dangerous, I made it.

And you know what? I had four people stop me on my way back, only wanting to make sure I was okay. The stares I get here may drive me insane, but the Malaysian people are some of the nicest I have ever met.

I'm trying so hard not to judge, but if you spend almost every night with this guy, he buys you everything, takes you everywhere while you have a guy at home, just no.

I don't dislike her, and I don't dislike him. I get it, in some ways. She likes being looked after, and that in itself is not bad. I have heard him talk about why he prefers Western women, and I respect that. It just frustrates me that she wonders why he wants to introduce her to his mom, why he called off work to spend the day with her.

She said to me today, "Just wait until this happens to you!" as if she is a victim somehow, and not just leading him on. Part of me wanted to retort that I wouldn't let myself get into that situation, but it sounded mean.

I stopped hanging out with her when he is there. He isn't a bad guy, its just hard to watch and I don't do well as a third wheel, though he especially seems to try to make sure I'm not. Sometimes, it is just better to avoid the things you don't like.

Posted via LiveJournal app for Android.

Comments

[nadirri.livejournal.com]

I think it's always better to avoid things you don't like, however that's not always possible. But in this case there is no reason why not. I guess she doesn't care much for the guy back home, if she did, she wouldn't behave this way. If she truly did, she wouldn't have gone travelling alone.

Good for you for looking out after yourself.

[duskyn.livejournal.com]

Yeah, I just let her do her own thing there. No reason to watch it, and she made me feel really happy I didn't go out my last night there. She said we'd have one drink, and she ended up not remembering how she even got to her hotel. I enjoyed a nice night relaxing.

She said the thing with her guy is complicated, and I totally understand the travelling without him thing, but I agree that if she acted she wouldn't be doing what she was.

[sight.livejournal.com]

You only just met her and you know nothing about her except what you see and what she tells you. She might be that type of person in general, with not a care for her man back home. Like the person above me said, you are great for looking after yourself.

[duskyn.livejournal.com]

That is very true. It is hard to know much about a person you've just met, and I don't know the whole story with the guy at home.

Thanks! I got so lucky those nights. It could have ended much differently.

[ragnarok-08.livejournal.com]

I think it is best to avoid things that you don't like.

And good for you for looking out for yourself :)

[duskyn.livejournal.com]

Thanks! <3

[siirius.livejournal.com]

You'll never get used to the stares!

But I was so scared that I was going to get to a part that something bad happened to you. I'm glad that's not the case!

[duskyn.livejournal.com]

Ugh, no I will not. I can deal with the curious stares, like most of the ones here but the stares in KL were awful. I wasn't even wearing anything revealing, but the men seemed to be undressing me with their eyes. Nice people and KL was a nice city, but I don't see myself going back after that.

Thanks, I was really lucky nothing bad happened.

[duskyn.livejournal.com]

Ugh, no I will not. I can deal with the curious stares, like most of the ones here but the stares in KL were awful. I wasn't even wearing anything revealing, but the men seemed to be undressing me with their eyes. Nice people and KL was a nice city, but I don't see myself going back after that.

Thanks, I was really lucky nothing bad happened.

[dzuunmod.livejournal.com]

Fantastic stories, great writing!

[night-owl-9.livejournal.com]

Goodness! I'm so glad that nothing terrible happened to you. Given the circumstances, things did appear pretty suspect, but thankfully you got out all right.

I'm guessing that the girl you were with, yes, does like to be looked after. I don't mind the feeling at all myself, but not with someone I just met.

*hugs* ♥

[paixetdamour-x.livejournal.com]

I'm glad you made it home okay both nights! I think this girl sounds extremely naive

[shake-the-stars.livejournal.com]

Wow, I'm glad you know your limits and made it home okay (and it restored a little of my long-shattered faith in humanity to hear that people stopped you to make sure you were okay). Not knowing your companion, I can't speak to her motives, but I agree with you that she probably isn't a victim (and may not want to acknowledge or take responsibility for her part in the doings).