Maybe you can start again, laughing in the open air.

I have been thinking a great deal about different topics in my Sex, Gender, and Power class , which is still a favorite class of mine and to a less extent my Anthropology class. If there is only thing that I take from that class it is this sense of empowerment that comes with being in class and the topics that are discussed. As distressing as some topics and truths may be, there is still this sense of pride almost. The holistic view of it all, from relationships to love to the harder subjects that even she struggles to discuss from time to time, it really has given me a much more broad view of the world around me. There are issues that were a sort of embarrassment for me that I no longer feel are something that I should be ashamed of. Knowledge is power, as she says, and the more I gain of it the more clear the picture becomes; the more I feel comfortable with who I am. It may be strange for just a few classes to do such a thing, but they really have been somewhat transforming. I was so used to looking at everything from a factual, analytical view and still do, but there are also other ways to look at things and those are what I have gained over the past two semesters.

For instance, people tend to assume that everyone follows the path of settling down, getting married, and having/adopting kids in life. And perhaps that is what the vast majority of people do. Don't get me wrong, I think that is a great goal to have. There is not a thing in the world wrong with it. I know there are many people on my friends list that have kids or are having one and I think that is an incredibly wonderful thing, but I also think it is not something that everyone wants to do, myself being one. Even now there is this pressure that I've felt from the people around me in doing just that. I don't want kids, and I don't mean just right now. There is a great deal of work that comes with having them and it boils down to that I'm a selfish person. I have a hard time caring about someone else more than I care about myself and one almost has to do that when having kids. Perhaps as I age that will change, but even down the road I do not know if that will ever be something I do want. Marriage was something that I was wary about as well, and it is much too early to even consider it in the relationship I am currently in, but I also haven't completely wrote it off in the future either. That is a complete topic of itself, however. Talking with my professor and the topics we have discussed in the classes really has given me perspective on that, as well as a great deal of other topics but this is already getting somewhat long and I have to work in a few minutes.

What it does boil down to though is that I greatly enjoy being forced to think about those things that I normally do not, such as why different thing are the way they are and what impact is has had on me and could have on the elusive future I keep hearing about.