Normally, I would be annoyed about having to sit around but I rather like actually getting into this little hidden lab and not finding anyone else here. One of my managers is being promoted and we're having a goodbye dinner tonight, so rather than go home I figured I'd sit around campus and study. It's how I passed ochem, might as well use my secret study strategy now, though, I'm okay in every class as of right now.
Four weeks left, not counting finals. I might actually have to start thinking about being an adult soon.
I did get a wake-up call today, when I finally did the exit interview for my student loans. $20,368, not counting my parent PLUS loan that is down to $7,500ish. Paying it off is not the problem, paying it off and living the life that I want to is. How can I run off to Peru when I have that much debt, knowing full well I may not have a job when I return? But then again, how can't I? I should be afraid, I really should, but I'm not.
I CAN do this. The doubt is leaving, and I don' know how, but I just woke up and I was okay. Everything will work out. How, well, that's a mystery, but it will. I can spend my entire life making excuses. I can spend my entire life waiting for something to better to come along, or I can realize that maybe something better won't come along. Maybe I have to go find it, maybe I just have to live.
I can wish all my life that I'll eventually live that life I want, or I can start doing what I can to live it now.