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I have this tendency to get stuck in my own little bubble, where I forgot there is much more out there than this town, than my job, than my school. I forget that the world is a big place, and just because I don't always like it here doesn't mean I won't like it elsewhere. This is not all there is.
My dad has always told me that the only thing holding me back from doing the things that I want is myself. The rationalizations of why I can't right now, or fear, or whatever gets in my way though. I can fake confidence well, but actually having the amount required to do so many of the things I want to do just isn't there.
But it will be.
You can tell who the awesome people in your life are when you tell your dream. I've told a lot of people about my dream to travel the world and people like my dad and my lab manager are nothing but supportive. When I was talking to my lab manager about it, he told me to take pictures for him. Then there's people, like Doc, who are slightly realistic. And then there's the people that tell you you're crazy. Those are the ones I, for one, can do without.
And there are a lot of obstacles in doing just that. Money, for one, but cutting back on things I don't need (LIKE ALCOHOL, SELF) will save me money that I can use elsewhere. And really, I don't need more nights where I wake up on my floor and spend the entire next day throwing up when I could be out exploring. I do want to finish my undergrad, that is important to me too. Grad school, that is something I'll decide later. I know my advisor will want me to in the fall, but I don't even know if I want to go to grad school.
The biggest obstacle though, is myself. I can think of a million reasons why not to, of why it won't work. But, all those blogs I read and all those YouTube videos I've watched, what makes any of those people that are travelling the world anymore worthy than I? What part of them do I think makes them more suited, more deserving?
And the truth is, nothing. They made it happen. They wanted to go and they went. I can do that too. I WANT to do that too, and I'm tired of being afraid of actually wanting things. I'm tired of justifying reasons why not in my head.
Hey, self. Life doesn't last forever. You can only spend so much of it in places you don't want to be.
The first step is the hardest.
My dad has always told me that the only thing holding me back from doing the things that I want is myself. The rationalizations of why I can't right now, or fear, or whatever gets in my way though. I can fake confidence well, but actually having the amount required to do so many of the things I want to do just isn't there.
But it will be.
You can tell who the awesome people in your life are when you tell your dream. I've told a lot of people about my dream to travel the world and people like my dad and my lab manager are nothing but supportive. When I was talking to my lab manager about it, he told me to take pictures for him. Then there's people, like Doc, who are slightly realistic. And then there's the people that tell you you're crazy. Those are the ones I, for one, can do without.
And there are a lot of obstacles in doing just that. Money, for one, but cutting back on things I don't need (LIKE ALCOHOL, SELF) will save me money that I can use elsewhere. And really, I don't need more nights where I wake up on my floor and spend the entire next day throwing up when I could be out exploring. I do want to finish my undergrad, that is important to me too. Grad school, that is something I'll decide later. I know my advisor will want me to in the fall, but I don't even know if I want to go to grad school.
The biggest obstacle though, is myself. I can think of a million reasons why not to, of why it won't work. But, all those blogs I read and all those YouTube videos I've watched, what makes any of those people that are travelling the world anymore worthy than I? What part of them do I think makes them more suited, more deserving?
And the truth is, nothing. They made it happen. They wanted to go and they went. I can do that too. I WANT to do that too, and I'm tired of being afraid of actually wanting things. I'm tired of justifying reasons why not in my head.
Hey, self. Life doesn't last forever. You can only spend so much of it in places you don't want to be.
The first step is the hardest.
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Date: 2012-05-24 03:18 pm (UTC)From:no subject
Date: 2012-05-24 03:58 pm (UTC)From:no subject
Date: 2012-05-24 03:42 pm (UTC)From:no subject
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Date: 2012-05-24 07:49 pm (UTC)From:no subject
Date: 2012-05-25 06:27 am (UTC)From:no subject
Date: 2012-05-24 09:37 pm (UTC)From:no subject
Date: 2012-05-25 06:27 am (UTC)From:no subject
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Date: 2012-05-27 03:59 pm (UTC)From:no subject
Date: 2012-05-25 05:03 pm (UTC)From:I have a tendency, when I see something like this, to go into "Mama Mary" mode, so bear with me...
DO IT!!!!!
Now is the time. Set your goal - graduate, travel, then decide - and do it. Don't try to stop the drinking, just cut it down. Go out one night a week instead of two (or two instead of four. Half it, whatever.)
Also, if you can swing it, travel BEFORE you graduate. It's so much cheaper! Student discounts, especially on train travel and hostels, are a significant savings. And hey, talk to your advisor - maybe something you learn while looking at the world can be made into a self-directed study class with credits - just write a paper/give a presentation when you come back.
Figure out how you can do it realistically. As a kid, it's great to dream, and trust the universe or your family or Something to grant it. But as a responsible adult, you've got to take a hand in bringing your dreams into your reality.
Map out a plan - where and when first, even if the answers are nothing more than "the world" and "soon" - and then figure out how much. Make it tangible - write it out on paper, or print it out from the computer. Post it or place it somewhere where you can see it every day.
After that, it's a matter of thinking of that concrete plan every time an opportunity comes up to spend money or earn money.
I'm looking forward to reading about how you make your dreams reality!
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Date: 2012-05-27 04:16 pm (UTC)From:I'm definitely going to keep it at the forefront of my mind, because that's how I lose sight of it. I let myself get swept away in my immediate surrondings and don't look at the future. I know for my money spending all I have to do is think, is this so important to me than I want to spend this money when I could save it for travel fun times? That helps weeds out what I do and do not need. Like mall food at work, it's expensive and not healthy anyway so I could easily just bring something from home and save that money. I have a nice, big bulletin board for me to keep it in my mind everyday and keep working toward it.
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Date: 2012-05-26 07:37 am (UTC)From:no subject
Date: 2012-05-27 04:18 pm (UTC)From: