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Thanks again to everyone that gave me ideas about things to post about, and I will post about all of them in the next couple weeks. <3
For today,![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
lastofthewildes asked "Could you write about a bonding experience with a friend or family member, or write about a specific memory or item that is very special to you?"
I wanted to think about that for a while. There were actually two that came right to mind as soon as I read it, but I wanted to see if any others came to me as I thought about it. Some did, but I think the first two really have been two of the most important as of late. Both also happened on the same day, go figure.
The first was between my dad and I. I don't think I posted about it, but my aunt died a few months ago. I wasn't all that close to her, and saw her maybe once every couple of years. When I was younger, I was incredibly fond of her but we drifted as I grew up. My cousins, her two children, are two of the one I see the most often and probably the closest to so my heart really did go out with them. I'm just awful when it comes to funerals and crying. Everyone else around me was crying, and rightly so, but I felt bad that I couldn't cry. I just didn't know her well enough.
As we were burying her, my dad disappeared. One moment he was standing next to me, the next I look up and he is on the other side of the graveyard near his car. I don't really know why the image sticks me with. Maybe it is because I knew he stepped away because he can't deal with crying people either, despite working in a funeral home. Maybe it was because he was in a suit, and I never see him in suit. He is very much the person that in constantly in a t-shirt and jeans. Maybe it was being around all of the people in mourning, surrounded by cornfields, and the sun shining overhead. I don't know what exactly burned the image of my dad next to his car, in his suit, and surrounded by gravestones, but it won't ever go away. I made my way over there and we stood there together, watching everyone from a distance until they were ready to go. I think I asked him something like, "It must be harder, being at the funeral of a person you know." and he replied with a "It is never easy to watch." The whole thing felt like something out of a movie. My sister and I used to argue about who took after my dad more, and it is moments like that that I know I did. Him and I understand each other in silent ways my sister just doesn't.
The other had to do with my uncle. My aunt and uncle had been divorced for as long as I can remember. She remarried and he has been dating someone else for years, but neither have had kids with anyone else. Now my aunt, he is this big, burly, completely badass guy. He could drink me under the table. He is someone I never thought I would see cry or ever find him in a mood that wasn't joking. I have no idea why they divorced or even what their relationship was like after. I don't know if they spoke and were friendly, but I remember sitting there in the room they had the family gather in before the funeral for a few words from the pastor. He was in front of me, and while the pastor spoke he moved to the back of the room. I glanced back and saw the tears, but what I really remember was right after the funeral when all of us were leaving to go the graveyard. He was with my two cousins, all three crying, and he held on to the two of them. We locked eyes, and I nodded and smiled, but that is something that will never leave either. It was a beautiful, heartbreaking moment.
The bonding really came later, next to the water machine when we were back at the chuch after the burial. My defense against everything is humor, and it works well for me most days. I don't even remember what I said, but I got a smile from him and his jokes came back. His heart was still breaking, of course, but life goes on.
For today,
lastofthewildes asked "Could you write about a bonding experience with a friend or family member, or write about a specific memory or item that is very special to you?"I wanted to think about that for a while. There were actually two that came right to mind as soon as I read it, but I wanted to see if any others came to me as I thought about it. Some did, but I think the first two really have been two of the most important as of late. Both also happened on the same day, go figure.
The first was between my dad and I. I don't think I posted about it, but my aunt died a few months ago. I wasn't all that close to her, and saw her maybe once every couple of years. When I was younger, I was incredibly fond of her but we drifted as I grew up. My cousins, her two children, are two of the one I see the most often and probably the closest to so my heart really did go out with them. I'm just awful when it comes to funerals and crying. Everyone else around me was crying, and rightly so, but I felt bad that I couldn't cry. I just didn't know her well enough.
As we were burying her, my dad disappeared. One moment he was standing next to me, the next I look up and he is on the other side of the graveyard near his car. I don't really know why the image sticks me with. Maybe it is because I knew he stepped away because he can't deal with crying people either, despite working in a funeral home. Maybe it was because he was in a suit, and I never see him in suit. He is very much the person that in constantly in a t-shirt and jeans. Maybe it was being around all of the people in mourning, surrounded by cornfields, and the sun shining overhead. I don't know what exactly burned the image of my dad next to his car, in his suit, and surrounded by gravestones, but it won't ever go away. I made my way over there and we stood there together, watching everyone from a distance until they were ready to go. I think I asked him something like, "It must be harder, being at the funeral of a person you know." and he replied with a "It is never easy to watch." The whole thing felt like something out of a movie. My sister and I used to argue about who took after my dad more, and it is moments like that that I know I did. Him and I understand each other in silent ways my sister just doesn't.
The other had to do with my uncle. My aunt and uncle had been divorced for as long as I can remember. She remarried and he has been dating someone else for years, but neither have had kids with anyone else. Now my aunt, he is this big, burly, completely badass guy. He could drink me under the table. He is someone I never thought I would see cry or ever find him in a mood that wasn't joking. I have no idea why they divorced or even what their relationship was like after. I don't know if they spoke and were friendly, but I remember sitting there in the room they had the family gather in before the funeral for a few words from the pastor. He was in front of me, and while the pastor spoke he moved to the back of the room. I glanced back and saw the tears, but what I really remember was right after the funeral when all of us were leaving to go the graveyard. He was with my two cousins, all three crying, and he held on to the two of them. We locked eyes, and I nodded and smiled, but that is something that will never leave either. It was a beautiful, heartbreaking moment.
The bonding really came later, next to the water machine when we were back at the chuch after the burial. My defense against everything is humor, and it works well for me most days. I don't even remember what I said, but I got a smile from him and his jokes came back. His heart was still breaking, of course, but life goes on.
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Date: 2012-12-29 07:27 pm (UTC)From:no subject
Date: 2013-01-04 06:20 am (UTC)From:no subject
Date: 2012-12-29 09:17 pm (UTC)From:My boyfriend works in a funeral home too. It can't be an easy job, I know I couldn't handle it.
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Date: 2013-01-04 06:21 am (UTC)From:no subject
Date: 2012-12-30 07:25 am (UTC)From:*hugs*
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Date: 2013-01-04 06:22 am (UTC)From:no subject
Date: 2012-12-31 09:42 am (UTC)From:no subject
Date: 2013-01-04 06:21 am (UTC)From:no subject
Date: 2012-12-31 06:05 pm (UTC)From:no subject
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